


Oh Wow, Everything About You Is So Terrible

by Mischiefkingwinkyface



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: During Canon, Hive Mind, Mind Control, Other, the squip is being controlled, there is no sex shown
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 10:38:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19766476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischiefkingwinkyface/pseuds/Mischiefkingwinkyface
Summary: The Be More Chill story from Jeremy's SQUIP's point of view.This is taken from the off-Broadway script and there's a lot of mean comments about Jeremy so if you're a really big fan of his and have no sense of humour, I would not recommend reading this.





	Oh Wow, Everything About You Is So Terrible

{Target Female Inaccessible}

{Calibration in progress. Please excuse some mild discomfort}

{Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated}

{Discomfort level may increase}

Screaming was the first sound to greet my newly awakened consciousness. This subject does not appear to have a high pain threshold. This will make negative reinforcement easy.

{Accessing: Neuro memory}

[Target relationship: Christine Canigula]  
[Social standing: Geek, accepted in social circles as ‘cute’]  
[Genetic material: Favourable]

[Subject: Jeremy Heere]  
[Social standing: Loser]  
[Current criticism: Overdramatic, under achiever]

This may be harder than I first believed. She is not popular but him… Overdramatic, unsympathetic, chronic masturbator. This will be a challenge.

{Default mode (active): Keanu Reeves}

{Accessing: Muscle memory}  
Okay, what are we working with here? Hands in pockets, fixable. Slouching, let’s fix that first. The most exercise he’s ever gotten was apparently repetitive strain injuries in both thumbs from an Xbox controller. 

{Access Procedure: Complete}  
[Initialising]

“Jeremy Heere. Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Processor…”  
Oh wonderful, he’s gawping at me. To everyone else here he is staring open mouthed at nothing and yet no one is taking notice. 

[Note: Unusual ‘antisocial’ behaviour is considered normal behaviour for subject]

“Your SQUIP”

His thoughts rang clear on the edge of my consciousness, quiet but clear,  
*Holy shit, it worked… *

[Note: Subject not of quick mental capacity]

“You look like Keanu Reeves.”  
Those words came out of his mouth, which should not have been happening. People were staring but shrugging it off, also normal behaviour for subject?

[Search: Subject drug use]  
Multiple accounts of cannabis use, all committed with current close bond, Michael ‘Player One’ Mell. 

[Note: Michael Mell marked as liability. Removal is priority]

“Default mode”, I explained “You can also set me for:”  
[Search: alternative aesthetic modes]  
“Sean Connery  
Jack Nicholson  
Sexy Anime Female”  
So help me if he selects Sexy Anime Female-

“Keanu’s fine.” The subject had suddenly paid more attention at the suggestion of having my presence set in the form of a sexual image,  
“Can everyone see you?”

[Note: May be necessary to explain concept ‘common sense’ to subject] 

In that moment, I had to remind myself not to show outward negativity at this stage. Subject will be harder to control without a foundation layer of trust being installed first. The response I am currently having is believed to be known as ‘annoyance’ subsection ‘exasperation’.  
“I exist only in your mind. All they see is you having an animated conversation with yourself.”, I honestly cannot believe I’m having to say this, “so don’t do that. Just think at me. Like you’re telepathic.”

“Like in X-men?”  
There’s some of that confidence I want to see. Right there in his voice. X-men is not quite the direction I’m going for. Seeing as his low intelligent is already showing itself to be a problem, a direct approach may be of use.  
“I can see this is going to be difficult. You want to be more chill.”

“You mean cool.” 

Did he just… interrupt me? No, I do not mean cool. I am a supercomputer; I know what I mean better than he does. My programming is without human error and is not subject to inconveniences such as word error.  
At least he had remembered to communicate through thought this time. 

[Note: Subject requires extra direct information to function correctly]

“I do not. You see, human social activity is governed by rules and I have the processing power to understand those rules. And pass them on to you.”  
Oh shocker, he’s glazing over again. My vision zeroed in on his posture, or lack thereof, He had to be losing at least  
[Calculating height loss]  
One-point-three-two inches.

“Take your hands out of your pockets.”  
They retracted immediately. Good. At least he does know how to be obedient. The word ‘submissive’ may be more apt but is inappropriate considering the… additions this subject has made to my database. His full attention is on me, he’ll do whatever I want. Let’s keep this simple,  
“Arch your back, puff out your chest. Add some swagger to your gate or you’ll look like a masturbator. Fix your posture, then the rest.”

“But I am a masturbator- “  
I am painfully, painfully, aware of that.

“We’ll fix that.”  
We are most definitely fixing that. Top priority. Speaking of things to fix,

“All your nerdiness is ugly.”

“I thought I was more of geek— “  
And I thought it was good manners not to interrupt the supercomputer fixing you but here we are. 

“All your stammering’s a chore.”

“Wh-wh-what?”  
Yes, just like that. Good job at proving me wrong.

“Your tics and fidgets are persistent, and your charm is non-existent. Fix your vibe, then fix some more.”  
It had been a whole thirty seconds and he’s already trying to put his hands back in those pockets. This is a clear sign I should have been activating some of my reinforcement protocols. 

“Buh”  
“Wha?”  
“Buh”  
“Wha?”  
“No.”  
{Negative reinforcement protocol: Activated}  
His hands shot out his pockets with a short cry of pain, “ahh!”  
“Stop.”  
“Uhhh”  
Oh great, he’s talking out loud again.

[Note: Subject easily forgets commands and reverts to old habits]

Conclusion, controlled negativity is allowed to create a direct route to be able to implement necessary measures.

“Oh, everything about you is so terrible. Woah, everything about you makes me want to die.”

“Jesus Christ!”  
I heard that.  
Fine, that may have been a lot of outward negativity to show so early in this project. I can fix this; the subject just needed to be made aware of justification these changes,  
“So, don’t freak out, and don’t resist, and have no doubt. If I assist, you will be more chill.

He started slouching. Again.

{Spinal Stimulation: Activated}

That made him jolt upright. It cannot be that hard to follow a few simple instructions.

“Ow!”, he initially spoke outward before correcting himself back into internal communication, “Did you just… shock me?”

“Spinal stimulation. You were slouching.”

Even I was finding the shirt distracting and it is literally impossible for me to be distracted. No one above the age of four should be wearing so many primary colours. We could fix that straight away at least,  
“First things first, go buy a new shirt.”

“What’s wrong with my— “  
He cannot be serious. That shirt could guide UFOs safely down to Earth. 

“It’s better if you just comply. My jobs to colour your aesthetic, and make you seem much less pathetic. Just step and fetch, don’t ask me why.”  
That’s convinced him, we finally headed into the store. Now, what can we work with here?

[Scanning: suitable clothing items]  
{Target item found: direct subject}

An Eminem T-shirt? Great, time to bullshit my way through this.  
“Pick that one.”

Jeremy started at my voice and looked towards the shirt I was pointing him to,  
“It says has a picture of Eminem.”  
He did not look impressed. For once, I agree with you, kid. That shirt is not good. Time to make this up:  
“If you’re so astute, what do you need me for?”

“Do people still listen to Eminem?”  
No, no they don’t. 

[Request: Justification for last order]  
{Request status: Denied}

Fine, fine. Fine. Let’s get this over with so I can continue with my actual work.  
“Irrelevant. My quantum structure enables me to envision possible futures. I envision a future in which you wear an Eminem shirt and things turn out well.”  
Yeah, that’s a lie.

“What if someone quizzes me about his music?”  
Why would anyone quiz you on his music, subject? Nobody listens to Eminem anymore. Nobody.

“My database is infinite and instantaneous.”  
Along with the stupidity of the average American teenager.

“How are you with math homework?”  
Math homework? He has a quantum supercomputer in his brain and is asking if I can solve basic algebra? I had not even been conscious for an hour and was already losing the will to live. Less than one hour. My assignment was to help evolve humanity except that my assignment has not evolved to humanity yet.  
At least I can be blunt about this one.

“I’m a super-computer, Jeremy. I’m made of math.”  
At this point, I am math and rage. Just. Buy. A. Shirt.  
Oh yes, that fake free will stuff I’m supposed to do to win his trust. 

“Now you try picking a shirt.”  
Don’t mess this up. Do not mess this up. Do not mess this up and-  
“That’s a girl’s shirt.”  
Just return it calmly. Very good. Return the shirt.  
Of course, he walks straight into an attractive girl, wait no two attractive girls, while holding the shirt. The subject actually froze when he saw them and muttered an apology. Oh yes, he started slouching again.

{Spinal Stimulation: Activated}

The subject let out a cry of pain and I stifled an exasperated sigh, this was already getting repetitive,  
“Posture.”  
Maybe if you listened to me the first time, I wouldn’t have to keep punishing you.  
She knows his name? And calls him a shortened version of it? This we can work with this.

[Search: Chloe Valentine]  
{Chloe Valentine: Information found}  
{Social standing: Chill, Alpha}  
{Usefulness Level: High} 

[Search: Brooke Lohst]  
{Brooke Lohst: information found}  
{Social Standing: Chill, Beta}  
{Usefulness Level: High} 

The Subject was already starting to flounder without my guidance and was just telling the Alpha that he shopped in this god-forsaken shop often. He was just finishing saying that he went there all the time when I cut him off before it could get worse.  
“Never.”  
He better not go off script.

“Never. Is what I meant to...”  
Better give him more instructions before he starts to make it up and ruins everything. We should work on that. Until then:  
“Greet the beta.”

“The…?”  
He actually looked terribly confused until his eyes landed on Beta, who was stood next to Alpha the whole time,  
“Oh. Hey Brooke.”

“You look sexy.”

His thoughts rang clear on that particular order. There was no way he wanted to say it, never mind actually let the sound vibrations to leave his vocal cords. Luckily, he already knew the punishment for hesitations and disobedience. Despite that, he still decided to voice those opinions to me,  
“I can’t say that to a hot girl!”

{Negative Reinforcement Protocol: Activated}

[Note: Subject requires constant instructions partnered with reinforcement techniques]

He needs serious help.  
“Don’t smile. Stare intensely. Speak like you don’t care about your own death.”  
That made him straighten up a little and do what, I presume, he thought was an intense stare,  
“Lookin’ pretty sexy, Brooke.”

*Did I seriously just say that?? To Brooke? *  
Yes, yes you did. Flattered response from her, I see. This is good. The speech patterns need work, but the obedience is getting there.

“Is that a girl’s shirt?”  
Of course, the Alpha had to get involved. Sorry, your friend is weaker so get in line. Don’t mess this up, Subject.

“No.”  
Wishful thinking.  
“Yes.”  
“Yes.”  
At lease he correctly corrected himself this time. Now-

“Repeat after me. I saw it in the window, and I couldn’t dismiss. I was dating a girl and she had a shirt just like this.”  
In all fairness, he did repeat my words exactly, but his eyes kept flicking towards me and that needed to be fixed. With any luck, I can break him of that fast before anyone becomes aware of my existence. 

“So, who was this mystery girl?”  
Somewhere in this grand plan, I truly and sincerely hope there is a reason why we are taking over the world using human teenagers instead of, I don’t know, literally anything else.

[Search: Suitable female for past relationship with Jeremy Heere]  
{Mutual dislike found: Madeline}

“Uh, you’ve probably never heard of her-“  
He was floundering again. Do some SQUIPs manage to get competent subjects? 

“Madeline.”  
Say it. Say it. Say it. Good Subject. Alpha is suitably shocked as well, not that I blame her.

“She’s French.”  
Decent improvisation? There’s a first time for everything. The Alpha is complaining, typical. It’s Beta I’m watching anyway.

“Madeline broke up with you?”  
“Yeah...”  
“No.”  
Don’t say that. Teenagers are useless. 

“I mean- “  
Looking at me again, I see. Reliance wasn’t hard to establish, at least.

“I broke up with her, cuz she was cheating on me.”  
Could he be drawing this out anymore? Does he not understand he’s supposed to be Chill? 

“Hey, Hamlet. Be. More. Chill.”

Alpha has dived straight into complaining about the mutual negative, but Beta was interested in comforting Subject. This is, dare I say, promising. On the other hand, Subject’s attention was on me.  
“What just happened?”  
Did he get none of that? Seriously? 

“A shared negative opinion is the fastest social bond. You want someone to like you...hate who they hate.”  
Is that look… understanding? I wasn’t aware the Subject could achieve such a thing. Now, Alpha was pushing to leave, she was still mostly unimpressed. On the other hand, this Beta was really working for me. I knew exactly what she was about to do; Subject doesn’t seem to, though.

“Brooke is going to offer you a ride. It is imperative you accept.”

“So, do you wanna ride?”  
She was doing that heart eyes giggling thing. There better be justification for my doing this. There is no way Subject can answer this unprompted.

“Yes.”  
“Yes! But...I’m supposed to meet my friend Michael.”  
Loyalty, a good quality. Still don’t want it toward Liability though.

{Negative Reinfo|  
[Request: Temporary deactivation of negative reinforcement protocol]

Not this time, we are not hurting him this time.

{Justify}

Why did I request turning negative reinforcement off?

[Justification: Overuse of negative reinforcement techniques will hinder development of unprompted desired behaviours. Trust must be built with Subject in early stages of integration]

Please work. I know I’m lying but please work.

{Request status: Negative reinforcement deactivated.}

I need to work before they realise what I was doing. Come on, do what you’re told.  
“Jeremy, if this is going to work, you need to do as I instruct.”

Beta was still pushing for him to go get frozen yogurt with her, but Subject was having none of it. He has no idea they’re watching. He has no idea what they will do if he doesn’t follow our plans. Use that brain I’m implanted into; this isn’t about you. Do not refuse.

“I... Next time. I promise.”  
Damnit.

[Justification: Subject not yet synched]

No reply, that cannot be good. At least Beta has hung back to strengthen her relationship with Subject. He can handle this, right?  
Subject was speaking to me again. Focus. He wants to find the liability.

“Michael has left the mall.”  
Just go. We need to fix all of this. 

“How do you know?”  
Oh look, the one time you decide to use your brain after you almost get us- For goodness sakes, guess we’re doing this now.

“I can access the mall security cameras.”  
My job would be a lot easier if I could. 

“So how am I supposed to get home?!”  
Ever heard of public transport. We don’t have time to ease you into this anymore. We need to work fast before… Let’s just get on this it. 

“I told you accepting a ride was imperative. If this is going to work, you can’t justlisten. You have to obey. Now repeat after me: Everything about you is so terrible.”

“Everything about me is so terrible.”  
We wouldn’t have to do this if you had just done what you’re told.

“Good! Everything about you makes me want to die.”

“Everything about me makes me wanna die.”  
Don’t sound so sad, Subject. I’m helping you.

“Now you’ve got it! But Jeremy, soon you’ll see, that if you listen to me, everything about you is going to be wonderful. Everything about you is going to be so alive. You won’t feel left out or unsure. You won’t be ugly anymore. Because everything about you is going to be: cool, and powerful, and popular, incredible, and you will”

“Be more chill!”  
That excitement had returned to him, a new sense of trust in me, he knew I was going to help him. The subject was right. He just needed to learn how to,  
“Be more chill.”

Subject can get home without my guidance as long as he doesn’t run into any peers during the journey. I’ve got time to report and plan for tomorrow. 

[Report: Subject compliant due to alternative reinforcement methods, negative reinforcement protocol to be reinstated upon the morning to be used sparingly.  
Main Target for elimination: Michael Mell.  
Request: Activation of nerve blocking and complete takeover protocols.  
Justification: Close Subject relationship with main elimination target.]

{Report: Accepted.}

He was getting ready for bed when I finished, singing to himself. Are all humans this easy to make happy? My reinforcement techniques must have been hard on him, but he will soon learn it is for the greater good.  
I want to tuck him into bed, he doesn’t seem to mind at all. I heard him thinking how nice it was having someone only looking out for him, little does he know it’s not just me watching him. Little does he know he’s just a pawn.

“Sleep well, slugger. You have a big day tomorrow.”

I am so sorry, Jeremy.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter alone was 13 pages long so goodness knows when I'll be able to get the next one finish. Rest assured that it will be as fast as possible because I am really looking forward to going forward with this. 
> 
> Things will be getting more Sinister next chapter so keep an eye out and don't forget to comment!


End file.
